What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 02:51
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Is it true that most women like alpha males?
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
What are some of the craziest laws around the world?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Make Nazis afraid again!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
TEXT:
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!